laugh

If You Put Lipstick on a Dog, It’s Still a Dog

TherapistMy sister had some specialised dog food for her dog delivered to my place a few weeks back, because I work from home and can easily take deliveries.

Forgetting this fact, I opened the packaged before I realised what it was. Since it was open anyway, I threw an organic lipstick into the box, still new in its cardboard package.  I had tried it and didn’t like the colour on me, I figured if she liked it she could have it.  A few days later she picked up the box and inevitably I forgot to mention the lipstick I’d thrown in.

Fast forward a few weeks…

She and her family were over for a summer BBQ at our place, and during our conversation she mentioned that the new ‘natural’ dog food company had the best deals on specialised dog food and really took the natural thing the whole way, because they had given her a free lipstick as well! At least she figured it was for her she mused… surely it wouldn’t be for the dog, right?

It was literally half an hour before she realised my hysterical laughter wasn’t about the absurd fact that she thought the lipstick might be for the dog, it was about the fact that they hadn’t sent her a lipstick with her dog food (are you crazy?), it was me! 

Best. Laugh. Ever.

#sisters

Wine Is From Grapes, So It’s Healthy Too

IMG_1992I am the girl munching down some Mary’s Gone Crackers with a great ‘ole dollop of hummus and calling it a ‘treat’.

So much so that I ate a (small) tub of hummus today while listening to a story from my sisters dating life that really requited a bottle of tequila to go with it.  I dug deep and refrained.

I did pull out the red wine though. The story was that jaw dropping. Besides, I figured once we were past noon, it wasn’t considered alcoholism.

Here’s where I start to have a problem. 1 Mary’s cracker is good, 3 are even ok, up to 7 is really not that bad. But, I ate 26. Yes you read that correctly. 26 crackers and a small tub of hummus all by myself. (Cue Celine Dion music.)

To make up for my gorging on health foods (because wine is from grapes so it’s a health food too), I had to forego lunch, and dinner.

So when I bemoan to you (and I will) the fact that I eat right but can never lose weight, feel free to point me in the direction of this post.

Your Man Can Now Dress Himself

This is the most fantastic thing I’ve seen on the Internet in the past hour, seriously.

I am taping one of these infographics to my husbands closet!

Now, if only I could find one for women…

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