I joined an introvert Facebook page the other day. I never thought of myself as an introvert, but the more I read all the memes and comments, the more I have self-diagnosed that I am. One of the glaringly obvious signs (apparently) is the inability to endure small talk.
I say inability, but what we’re really talking about is an inherent desire not to have to engage in talk about things that hold no interest for us. I hate small talk (passionately), yet in my disdain I realise as I type this, it also becomes a little narcissistic.
A lot about not offering grace and kindness and less about my newly-labeled personality trait.
My friends husband finds the inner workings of a washing machine party-worthy conversation, does this make him the ‘most mind- numbingly boring person in the world’ (my words to hubby)? Or does it make him simply different to me? Someone whose thoughts, feelings and personality contribute to the workings of this world just as much mine do?
That’s obviously not what my gut feeling is when I critique him. At my core it is clear I don’t believe he’s as smart, interesting or valuable to the makeup of this world as I am. Harsh reality, right? I mean I wouldn’t have said that if someone asked me, but by my actions and reactions that’s what I am portraying.
Am I an introvert, or am I a narcissist who has little time or concern for those whose personality and interests differ from my own?
Sure it’s nice to have a label. It’s nice to be able to deflect any responsibility for looking deep within ourselves to inspire change, but it’s not real and it allows us to continue in our pathway of a lack of grace. Shame on us. In this me world we are living in, it seems that we label everything. Everything has a name, a cause, a pill to help you deal with your problem, to excuse your poor behaviour.
Perhaps it should be a little less about me and a little more about we. We being the bigger picture of not caring so much about our feelings in the moment, but contributing to the greater good of kindness, love and grace in this self-indulgent world.
- 23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert (noliesradio.org)
- 23 Signs You’re Secretly a Narcissist Masquerading as a Sensitive Introvert (blogs.scientificamerican.com)